VIRTUAL HARRASMENT~ WEIRD WEEK-END AND OTHER STORIES~PART 1

It all started Friday evening when I got back from classes in the afternoon and checked my mail. I am addicted to checking my mail now because its placement season and I need to see the regular updates on which companies are coming to campus.I have a college ID that anyone can send me email at. But I usually get mail only from people at school here. Anyways I log into my account and there is a mail from an unknown person making vulgar statements about my personality and my body.

It took me only a second to get really angry ..........I immediately thought it was some guy ( actually I had the a good feeling I knew who the guy was ) from college and I was ready to 'Jhap' ( break some bones) his case.

If you've been to B-school you know the system. There are many more boys to the girls, it is a highly competitive environment and there are a few jerks (most of the guys are pretty decent) who go out of their way to put you down or make you an object (aka your only use is to look pretty) just because you are a woman.

Anyways I wrote off a mail asking the person not to hide behind a fake ID, tell me to my face whatever he thought of me and not act like a coward etc. And I also forwardedthe original mail to few of my close friends.
I managed to forget about it, till I got phone calls and emails from my friends telling me to take it seriously and also telling me what they had heard some of the guys in college say etc.
I also got an overly confident reply from the fellow saying I could do whatever I wanted and again saying stuff to put me down and then I started getting scared.For some reason I just assumed that it was someone from college.

First thing I did was get my parents in the loop. Just telling them made me feel so much better. My friend had told me about the cyber crime cells that we have in each major city in India (I never knew) and I went there to see how to log a complaint.

I also decided to go public on my college groups about what had happened (I first wanted to copy paste the entire shitty mail so that everyone could see) and said that I would be lodging a complaint (basically to scare off the person into the open). The week-end passed in me trying not to think about the issue till someone from class would ask me and rehashing it just made me loose it all over again.

I really had no clue what to do. My dad said not worry because he had seen worse, but I kept wondering who would write such a mail and what I had done to tick them off the wrong way. It was stupid the fact that I let this person make me feel vulnerable but you can imagine my state of mind? I had to keep telling myself that this will not put me down.

The week-end was a weird one which will be another blog soon. But on Monday morning I get a call from an ex-colleague first thing saying ~Can’t I take a joke? At that point all I wanted to do was cry.

A joke! Since when have jokes degraded to such a level? I tried to tell him that his concept of right and wrong was completely blurred. But he kept going back to the fact that it was a joke. I even tried to tell him that what is construed as a joke for him would not be the same for everyone else. Did he understand the things that were going through my mind and the fact that every person in college would also be wondering the same thing? I feel really bad that I didn't give my fellow classmates even the irritating ones a little more credit. Atleast they are not COWARDS!

My ex-colleague had the audacity to tell me that I should change my profile to ‘don’t mess with chrissy’ and that because I had written that I would lodge a complaint he got scared. (This came out later in the course of conversation). I don’t know why I didn’t scream at him, I was trying to figure out why he would write something like this to me. But I surely don’t want to be anywhere near him anymore. My parents also know this chap and I don’t know what to tell them!

And then of course I told one of my close friends from work.He read the mail and his take on it was that the writer of the email probably has feelings for me !!!!!!!!!!! That scared me even more. Forget the fact that my father made it clear that as a woman I would face a lot more shit like this in my working life and also the fact that the internet like other things are not safe. But how on earth do I come to terms with the fact that if you like someone you debase the person to express it? I’m not buying into that ……..of course after that my friend also said that we should start a collection and send the email writer to a psychiatrist

I now actually don’t want to talk about it. It’s like a dirty stain that I don’t want to think about and just want to wash away. I just want to say to the public at large that one thing I learnt and that I want to share is that everything you do and say and write has an effect on other people. So please be careful how you say it. I am sometimes too frank and maybe I’ve hurt people and I really try and relate to them better. But at the end of the day I am not overreacting when I say that I will not tolerate any body saying things that are cheap and offensive and immature to me. Get real fellows I know a real sense of humor when I see one! I also hate the fact the mail that was sent to me has made me question what I did wrong.......when I should be outraged that something like this happened at all !!!! My trust is broken and our friendship is OVER dude.......I can never think of you as normal in the head at all now!